Trying to conceive – things that you realise

As much as this is a skincare and beauty blog, it’s also a personal blog and sometimes I just have to get stuff off my chest. It’s no secret that Dan and I are trying to have a kiddie. Now, from the notes below, it might seem that I have gone a little bit crazy. Let me put your minds at ease, I have not…just yet. But these are just some of the things that I have thought about and a few of the emotions that I have felt during this time of, what feels like, limbo.

  1. You realise that wow, you really should have paid more attention in biology. You have to re-educate yourself about all of that ovulation, fertile period business and how many days apart everything is. It’s quite something!
  2. On the topic of ovulation – this becomes the most important day of the month. Closely followed by the 3 days before and after. You make sure that you don’t have plans that will last all day or night and that no one is travelling during this time. These days/nights/afternoons are strictly for baby making.
  3. Does tilting your pelvis upwards after sex really work? You aren’t sure but you try to think of ways to make this look sexy. And fail. Nothing can make this look sexy.
  4. You very quickly realise that it was a hell of a lot cheaper to not fall pregnant than to fall pregnant. R600 a pop is the norm to drop on supplements that are supposed to boost fertility and your body’s baby making skills.
  5. Don’t forget ovulation tests.
  6. And the many pregnancy tests you will buy for every sudden change of mood or sudden onset of tiredness you may have.
  7. If you, like me, are crazy, you will download P Tracker or a similar app. And of course you become obsessed, tracking every possible thing that can be tracked and making notes left right and centre. “Thursday: left boob ached, Friday: intimate, new pimple on cheek”.
  8. You start Googling things like Shettles method and Ramzi theory, just in case they turn out to be legit.
  9. Oh, also Clomid. You Google the living daylights out of that and wonder if your gynae would agree to putting you on the miracle drug.
  10. Everyone around you will fall pregnant. Or at least thats what it feels like.
  11. You get annoyed by your partner. Why aren’t they talking about the baby as much as you are? Are they not in the same boat as you? Where is this relationship going? Should you prepare yourself to be a single mother? Note – the baby in question has not even been conceived yet.
  12. Did I mention, you tend to over react about silly things (like the above), which immediately makes you think you may be pregnant and you rush to do a test.
  13. You feel devastated when “that time of the month” swings by just like normal. Not this month then I guess..sigh.
  14. You watch the YouTube video “The Business of Being Born” and swear that you will have a 100% natural birth. Epidurals and C-Sections are from the devil! Then you get period pain and you rethink your decision.
  15. You cut out alcohol and start to opt for decaf (goodbye sanity)…just in case…
  16. Every now and then you start to feel silly for planning and obsessing over this child that still needs to actually be created – but you can’t help it, you’re just so damn excited.

I think so often people talk about being pregnant and what you experience during that time, and of course after pregnancy. I never really gave a second thought about what trying to have a child might do to my emotions and thoughts, and that’s why I wanted to put this out there. Of course it’s a completely personal journey that I’m sure differs from person to person and couple to couple. If you want to add anything to this list, please do! I found it made me feel slightly less crazy..hehe. What I have learnt above all of this is there’s no use stressing about it, do what makes you feel happy. It’s an exciting time and you shouldn’t beat yourself up about it. Everything happens in its own time, I have had to learn to be content in that. Not an easy lesson to learn!

 

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6 Comments

  • Reply
    Nihaad
    July 28, 2015 at 3:09 pm

    This post gave me a whole new view on the baby making process. I guess people make it look so easy that you automatically think it would be like that for you too. Goodluck to you and your other half during this trying time. And may you be blessed in abundance. Xo

    • Reply
      mascara & mimosas
      July 28, 2015 at 4:24 pm

      You are so sweet, thank you xxx it’s quite a crazy time, but you just need to see the humour in it all sometimes 🙂

  • Reply
    Natalie Osmond
    July 28, 2015 at 6:00 pm

    I love the style that you wrote this in 🙂 I’m no where near ready to have a baby yet, but I’m pretty sure I’ll be exactly like this when we do start trying…so good to know I can harass you about this stuff when I do 😉 Good luck to you and Dan cooks!! Holding thumbs for you!

    • Reply
      mascara & mimosas
      July 28, 2015 at 6:35 pm

      Thanks darlin’! I was just thinking about it today and then the word vom happened – think it’s good to get personal every now and then xxx

  • Reply
    Marné
    August 6, 2015 at 4:18 pm

    Have you tried relaxing about it?! 😉
    We are also trying, and I’ve found that arranging all plans around D-Day makes my husband edgy. It makes it feel like a business deal we’re about to close, and cannot afford to lose it.
    More often than not, we would then clash and be irritated with one another, because we’re both anxious for the actual offspring. And then it’s over, gone, goodbye lovemaking and hello guilt and regret. Month after month..

    If you can keep D-Day business in a good state without aforementioned happening to you guys, you are truly blessed 🙂

    Someone once told me: Keep in mind, you actually still want to love your husband after you’ve used him for children (and the other way around too). Ouchies, very harsh, I know. But it’s taught me to still enjoy him and not just use him like I did. And now we’re having more fun than ever, wink wink 😉

    Enjoy the ride (pun intended indeed)

  • Reply
    Pregnancy: The First Trimester | Parenting Hub
    August 2, 2016 at 3:00 am

    […] I did a similar post on all the craziness that went through my mind when we were trying to fall pregnant, you can read that over here. […]

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