I needed a break from my family and I don’t feel guilty about it

Last week I was lucky enough to be flown to Cape Town for a media event. When I initially received the invitation a week or two before I was so excited, not only because such an exciting brand was launching (look out for that post soon) but also because when I asked if I could fly back the next evening instead of the same day as the event, I was able to. I needed some time away from my day to day life, and I needed that time to be without my gorgeous little girl and wonderful husband. I needed a break from my family and I don’t feel guilty about it. At all. In fact, I would recommend it to everyone.

Being a mom is wonderful but it can be exhausting, regardless of whether you’re a stay at home mom, a work from home mom or a work at the office mom. They all come with their own trials and tribulations and at the end of the day, we all go to sleep wondering, “did I do enough” even though we completely exhausted ourselves giving our kids the best that we could for that day.

Aria is at the age where she is non-stop, whenever she is awake. Now as amazing as it is watching her explore the world, it also means that I have a lot less time to get my actual work done (yes, I have a job that I am fortunate enough to do from home) because I need to make sure that she isn’t sticking her head into the dustbin or eating Moose’s food (both true stories). So that work ends up being done at night, until at least 10pm. Time that I should be spending with my husband and time that I should use to carve out some much needed me-time.

So after a few months of all of this busyness, I was absolutely finished, and like a lovely friend reminded me, you can’t pour from an empty cup. I was short and distant with Dan and I was easily irritated with Aria, this mama needed a break!

Now, I do need to give a shout out to my hubs, when I mentioned that I was thinking of staying in Cape Town for longer than the actual event, he put in a day’s leave for the Friday to look after Aria (we have a wonderful nanny on a Thursday) and encouraged me to go to Cape Town and have a great time.

And I did. After the event I sat in a coffee shop and had coffee by myself. I had the time to sink into my own thoughts and it was wonderful. I met my cousin and aunt for more coffee (can’t stop, won’t stop) and then went home with them and did nothing. Absolutely nothing. And it was ah-mazing! I went to sleep early and when I woke up in the morning, I lay in bed for as long as I wanted to. We went shopping and I didn’t have to worry about anyone’s meal times except my own, and I didn’t even have to drive, it was bliss!

I didn’t do anything opulent or particularly exciting, but it was exactly what I needed. When I got home to Joburg that evening I was pretty exhausted but when I woke up the next morning I felt so much better compared to when I left. I savoured every moment with Aria and I was able to talk to Dan without ten other things on my mind. I was excited about upcoming blog posts and writing about them, and I felt motivated about my work.

Is my cup full again? No. But it’s not empty. Is a night away going to become a regular thing every three months now? Nope. But I have learnt that sometimes a break is absolutely necessary. Whether it’s an entire day at the spa, an hour alone at a coffee shop, or a solo night in a hotel. Being a parent (and sometimes, being a wife) is a full time job, sometimes you need to get away to recharge so that you can keep doing an incredible job. Sometimes it’s just the thing that you need to help you feel that actually you can tick everything off your to-do list and meet your deadlines without becoming a complete stress pot.

So, if you get the chance to have the house to yourself for a morning, or to spend the night on your own, grab it with both hands. Soak up all that alone time and when you return to your day to day life, you will feel so much better for it.

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7 Comments

  • Reply
    Dionne
    June 27, 2017 at 10:28 am

    Lovely post, glad you got some time away, been feeling the same way, especially when you work from home, sometimes people outside your family can bug you the whole day too and it adds to everything

  • Reply
    Simone Cameron
    June 27, 2017 at 11:13 am

    Agree with this 100%. I have 3 kids and have no opportunities for being away from them and I keep saying when finances allow, mama is gone for a whole weekend! Though I am taking the husband with me. I need me time and I need us time, so literally what I’m living for at the moment. Sounds so bad, but it isn’t. We are human….and empty cup and all 🙂 Glad you enjoyed the break…sounds like bliss to me!

  • Reply
    Carina
    June 27, 2017 at 12:24 pm

    I’m not a parent but I absolutely understand and feel you! Being a wife is hard work and sometimes it’s necessary to just have some absolutely me-time. 🙂

  • Reply
    stephanie
    June 27, 2017 at 9:46 pm

    Totally agree, i feel i need this exact thing just to re-charge my batteries

  • Reply
    Jamie Weakley
    June 28, 2017 at 12:41 am

    Im totally there now. Continually pouring from an empty cup & wondering why I’m so exhaste all the time. Thank you for being honest. Now I need to be honest with myself.

  • Reply
    Juwayra
    June 28, 2017 at 11:34 am

    I totally understand. Glad you enjoyed your time away.
    It’s really tough for moms to switch off from mommy mode.

  • Reply
    Chereen
    July 7, 2017 at 2:42 am

    FINALLY getting the chance to read this post (which I bookmarked last week) – ironically, from a hotel where I’m spending a night on my own. I couldn’t agree more with the points you’ve brought up here – it’s so, so important to make some time for yourself, away from your family. I used to feel guilty – like I was a bad mom for wanting to be away from my son, but I’ve learnt that it’s vital and that it makes me a better, more patient mom in the long run. Such a beautiful post – thanks for sharing! x

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